Once a Cheater….

“Oh my god, how could he do this to me!!!  After all I did for her, she did this to me!!!  He lied to me, and with her!!!”  Ahem….we all have a story about how someone has done us wrong and broken our hearts because they had the audacity to cheat on us in words or in actions; and if it was not done to us, we know someone who was on the receiving end of it …unfortunately.

The act of cheating causes an outrage when we are dealing with our perceived love for someone else, but what about when we are dealing with our love for ourselves.  I can remember watching students cheat on an exam (on different occasions), and as the professor, I stood there and allowed it.  Why would I do such a thing, you ask….well, #1 I’m not going to disturb those who are working diligently and honestly, because at some point those who aren’t will always see me watching them, come to a halt & send themselves into an internal panic; and #2 the truth comes out in the wash.  You don’t get what you did not earn.  Now rest assured, at the conclusion of the class, I always make it known that I know, and the penalty for them is always greater because they will fail themselves; which is exactly my point.  When we commit harmful acts against ourselves, we in fact are cheating ourselves out of a myriad of successes that may await us.

I used an exam as an example, but there are many examples.  Some people like shortcuts …that’s cheating yourself too.  We will self-sabotage ourselves faster than anyone can do it for us.  Many want to get to a destination without buckling up for the entire journey.  It’s through the journey that we learn all the lessons that prepare us for fulfillment  and sustainability once we reach the destination.   Shortcuts may get you there faster, but you won’t always arrive equipped.

Sometimes we cheat ourselves when we remain in comfortable spaces and resist challenges that will push us forward; a natural response to being pushed is to pull and we often pull back for all the wrong reasons;  like being afraid to shine, or to make others  more comfortable.  Sometimes we cheat ourselves when by knowingly allowing someone else to do wrong by us which sends a message that we are unaware of how much we are truly worth.  Sometimes we cheat ourselves by remaining silent about things that we want because we are afraid of rejection (or maybe even elevation).  Sometimes we cheat ourselves when we delay the unwrapping of our gifts, because we cannot grasp the idea of having them on display, which stops others from receiving it.  On all these counts, I can honestly say I stand accused, many of us do!  You may be found to be guilty on multiple counts of cheating yourself, but that does not mean you cannot be rehabilitated!!!  You just have to see you for you and appreciate everything about the reflection staring back.

Just because you were once a cheater, that most certainly does not mean that you always have to be one.  For whatever reason you chose to cheat yourself, find even more of a reason be faithful to all that you are and all that you will be; besides, cheating is for losers so let’s not be that.  The best of you is not yet to come, it’s already here…waiting on you to SEE it!  (SEEK to EMBRACE all that you EMBODY)

Song Reference:  BRAVO- By Ledisi   FEELIN’ GOOD:  Nina Simone